Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
