i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
