My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
