man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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