woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
