This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
