just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Dear god my vagina.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize