my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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