Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
