He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
