Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
