I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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