Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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