Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
