i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
