By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
