Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
