I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
