2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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