oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
