I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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