Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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