Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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