that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
