Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
