Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
