Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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