I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize