You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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