her vagine was all disorganized.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
