You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
