i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize