i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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