why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
