I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
