Me too!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
