Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
