sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
