I only kidnapped one of them. chill
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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