My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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