We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize