thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
