So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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