Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
