This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
