Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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