I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
