one two three fourrrrnication!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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