How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
