Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
