I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
