we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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