I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
