hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
