a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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