did you get engaged???
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
