Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
