you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
