That's when you crack a 10am beer
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
