K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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