Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
