So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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